Title:

When Does a Child Custody Battle Go Too Far? This was our story...

Word Count:

1009

Summary:

When you go into a child custody battle make sure you do your research. We found out the hard way that not having a strategy will cost you in the long run. There are a couple of experts in child custody that have put together a "strategy guide" that has proved to be a great resource to us. We learned stuff that are $250 per hour lawyer didn't even know about.

Keywords:

Child Custody, divorce, lawyer, experts, strategies, child custody battle

Article Body:

A divorce is stressful enough, but when child custody is involved it can get ugly really quick. Unfortunately, there are times when the underlying reason for child custody isn’t about the children at all. It’s just one more way to get back at their Ex for all the "horrible things" that they have done. This is the worst situation because the only one who ends up getting hurt is the children. That’s why I felt compelled to write this article. My wife and I have been have been in a "heated" battle for her daughter for over a year now. Her ex-husband is a manipulative "know it all" who is purposely limiting my wife’s contact with her daughter. My wife lost custody several years ago when she had to leave the state they were living in because of the constant harassment and threats being made by her Ex. At the time, the judge could not make a decision on custody and my wife was not allowed to take her daughter out of the state. It was not long after that her Ex’s high price attorney was able to get the judge to grant him full custody simply because my wife now lived out-of-state. Needless to say, my wife was devastated. She didn’t think it could happen just like that with no consideration given to her situation. So in an instant, she went from having 50:50 custody to seeing her daughter only 6 weeks out of the year.

A couple of years later, I came into the picture and was able to convince my wife that she needs to stop being afraid of her Ex and it was time to fight for her right to be a mother to her daughter. That was easier said than done. By that time, her Ex had used his influence over his daughter to get her to blame my wife for everything that had happened. Soon the phone calls got shorter and shorter, and her daughter started saying awful things to my wife things that just tore her up inside. This 5-year girl was "yelling" at her mother for breaking up the family, for causing all her daddy’s "money problems", and for leaving her behind to be with her “new husband”. None of which it true, but try explaining that to a 5-year old girl over the telephone with her Daddy sitting beside her and listening to the entire conversation. My wife was an utter mess, and even started blaming herself for what was going on.

We finally decided enough was enough, but we had no idea what to do next. I research everything. I’m all over the internet look for tip and strategies, anything that can give us an idea on how to deal with a child custody issue. And wouldn’t you know it; all I get are law firms that tell you that all you have to do is get the right lawyer. So that is what we did. We gathered all the money that we could, our entire savings and then some, and then hired a lawyer. A lawyer who called our situation an "atrocity", and that he would do everything in his power to put a stop to it. And so it began, the child custody battle was in full swing. But after the first motion was sent out by our lawyer, we heard nothing. Days, weeks went by and no response, and when we tried to get in touch with our lawyer we had to set up an appointment where we would get charged $250 an hour to talk to him over the phone. A year goes by and nothing happens, except for the judge telling my wife’s Ex to stop turning her daughter against her. And did I mention, we had a nice $16,000 lawyer bill.

This child custody battle was causing us all kinds of pain (emotionally, mentally, and monetarily), but we vowed not to quit. In the mean time, her daughter was angry at us once again because we were trying to "put her Daddy in jail" and "He would die of a broken heart if she was ever to go and live with mommy". It was gut-wrenching to the both of us. And then something happened that gave us some hope. Did the lawyer call with some good new? No! Did the judge finally make a decision in our favor? No! I came upon a website talking about two experts (Doctors of Psychology) in dealing with child custody issues. With over 35 years of experience between them, and numerous expert testimonies, they looked they had something that they could teach us. And wouldn’t you believe their guide on strategies in dealing with child custody only cost $89. I was skeptical at first, wondering what they could know that our lawyer doesn’t. But what is $89 compared to $16,000, so I took a look. Right from the beginning, I noticed things that our lawyer never even mentioned to us. I even brought up some points from the book to our lawyer (at $250 an hour), and he acted like he had never heard of that before. These weren’t over the top legal tactics. These were simple things that none of us had ever though of. We’re still in the midst of the custody battle, but things our leaning our way for the first time ever. All I can say is that the guide has helped me understand a lot more about child custody strategies, and I had only wished that I had found before all of this started. If you our in similar situation yourself, or about to fight for custody, I urge you to get this guide. It’s a small price to pay in the long run, and it even shows you ways to make your lawyer work harder for you. To check out what these experts have to say and check out their guide go to Child Custody Strategies.

Title:

Divorce Mediation

Word Count:

532

Summary:

Divorce mediation has become a more affordable and ‘harmonious’ way to deal with one’s divorce. But it’s significant to note that not all divorce cases are meant for divorce mediation.

Keywords:

divorce, divorce forms, legal, child support, mediation, separation, annulment, family law, relationships, alimony, custody

Article Body:

Divorce mediation has become a more affordable and ‘harmonious’ way to deal with one’s divorce. But it’s significant to note that not all divorce cases are meant for divorce mediation.

In cases where you have an abusive spouse, the safety that the Court may provide would be recommended. When you are dealing with a spouse who perpetually argues with every word that passes your lips, then it’s highly unlikely that you’ll be able to confer about concerns of divorce through mediation.

As long as there are issues that need to be addressed due to a lack of cooperation on either side, mediation will not quite cut it. In cases where you are having difficulty finding middle ground with your spouse, it would be a good idea to seek the legal help of a divorce attorney instead.


Divorce mediation requires compromise

Divorce mediation is possible and helpful if both parties are willing to compromise and agree to confer with one mediator rather than seek the legal advice of separate attorneys. This does help both parties save on expensive court fees. Mediation can greatly reduce the total expense of the divorce procedure and you and your mate will generally have more control over the agreement.

The benefits of mediation normally help the agreement along, leading to a successful and enduring settlement. It has also been observed that mediation is not as distressing on the children as a full-blown court case with lawyers and all. This point alone can make mediation instantly appealing to a problematic couple.


What exactly is mediation?

Divorce mediation involves a mediator who assists a couple in coming to an agreement. Unlike what many may believe, a mediator isn’t there to make the decisions for you. Nor will he/she tell you and your mate how things ought to be. A divorce mediator will simply sketch out the matters at hand for you and your mate as he/she assists you in your own decision making. This process is normally accomplished through a series of questions as well as concentration on results rather than dwelling on disputes. Even as some arguments may occur, one mustn’t be so quickly discouraged. The mere fact that both parties agreed to try mediation means that they are able to cooperate with one another. Normally, the idea of how mediation saves their children from further distress can encourage a couple to come to an amicable agreement.


How long will it take?

The mediation period may be just a number of weeks to even an entire year. It really depends on you and your spouse and the complexity of the matters concerned. If you both are able to reach a harmonious agreement early on, it will be fairly easy to shorten the process of mediation.

In order to help this process along, both parties should be completely aware of his/her rights as well as the possible alternatives which are accessible. The mediator will supply the parties with a Memorandum of Agreement. A Separation Agreement may then be written from the basis of this prior agreement. An attorney may be required in translating the agreements.

Title:

How to Tell Your Children About Divorce

Word Count:

916

Summary:

Children can be seriously impacted by their parents' divorce. Use these common sense guidelines to ensure your children's emotional stability through this difficult process.

Keywords:

divorce, divorce and children, divorce and custody

Article Body:

Whether your divorce is amicable or contentious, when and how to tell your children can be a difficult issue. Your children may already know that there are difficulties in your home life and marriage, but you may be surprised at the level of their sophistication and knowledge about divorce. Even if they are relieved to hear that a difficult home life is about to change, do not ever underestimate the degree to which your divorce can impact your children. The adults are not alone in feeling the stress and hurt of a strained family situation. You must take special steps to insulate your children and help them through the divorce process.

There is not one simple outline that provides all of the right answers and information on how to guide your children through the divorce process. When and how to tell your children about the divorce will depend upon your individual family dynamics, the maturity of your children, the ages of your children, the conflict level in your house, and your own individual preferences. If you are unsure of how to present this issue, it is a good idea to obtain professional help to do so. Many counselors are well versed in addressing divorce issues with children and they are available to guide you through this process with your children.

The type of divorce situation presenting itself in your family will have some impact on how and when you present this issue to your children. If you and your spouse are amicable, and your divorce is low stress, your children may not even be aware of the possibility of a break up. While that means that the divorce conflict has not impacted upon the children as of yet, it does not mean that it will not. Your children might be even more affected by the news that you are divorcing if they were unaware that there were problems in your marriage. If you or your spouse has been working with a counselor, either together or separately, that counselor can lay out some simple strategies on how to tell the children. Basic information that you want to discuss with the counselor is whether you tell the children together or separately and what information you can or should give the children about what their living arrangements will be in the future.

It is never acceptable to disclose that you and your spouse are getting a divorce when you are in the middle of a conflict. To place blame on your spouse, or to provide information in a way that conveys blame or fault may make you feel better in the short run. In the long run it will hurt your children, and it will impact your long term relationship with the children's other parent. Also, courts frown on providing children with adult level information and details about your divorce. Do so and you risk hurting your legal case, if your divorce will be presented to a judge.

Most counselors will support a joint parental communication to the children about the pending divorce. However, a joint discussion about divorce with the children does require that you and your spouse be able to maintain a basic level of civility, if for no other reason than to maintain your children's peace of mind. If you and your spouse cannot be civil, do not attempt to discuss this issue together with the children.

If your marriage has been rife with conflict, your children may be aware of or even welcoming the relief of a parental separation and/or divorce. Do not be surprised if you find out that your children know more than you thought, even if you have been attempting to conceal the conflict from them.

The issues that your children want to be reassured about involve where they will live, where they will go to school, whether their activities and daily lives will be disrupted, and the degree to which they will be able to maintain their relationship with each parent. Teenagers can be particularly vulnerable and sensitive to disruption in their lives and schedules. If you are able to work out a parenting schedule with your spouse, it is acceptable to share that with the children to reassure them. It also can be acceptable to involve the children in the process of setting a schedule. However, that issue can be very delicate. You do not want children dictating to the adults and you do not want the children to have limited contact with either parent.

Above all else, do not discuss marital fault issues or the reason for the divorce with your children. Even if you think that your spouse is the worse miscreant on the planet, that spouse is your children's parent. Your children want to and are entitled to love both parents. That a spouse cannot make a marriage work does not dispossess them of the right to be a parent. More important, it does not dispossess the children of the right to love that parent and have a relationship with the parent.

Consider that you may have a range of reactions from your children about the pending divorce. They may not be surprised. Or, they could be upset and shocked. In many cases, even when they are not surprised, the children might be angry or blame themselves. Work with a professional to address all of these emotional reactions. Your children will adjust to your divorce, if you provide the proper guidance and assistance during that process.

Title:

What is an Annulment?

Word Count:

274

Summary:

Annulment is a legal procedure for declaring a marriage null and void. Annulment differs from divorce where the court ends an otherwise legal marriage on a specific date.

Keywords:

Annulment, divorce, marriage, married, Grounds for Annulment, spouse, Infidelity

Article Body:

Current info about Annulment is not always the easiest thing to locate. Fortunately, this report includes the latest Annulment info available.

Annulment is a legal procedure for declaring a marriage null and void. Annulment differs from divorce where the court ends an otherwise legal marriage on a specific date.

In strict legal terminology, annulment refers only to making a voidable marriage null; if the marriage is void ab initio, then it is automatically null, although a legal declaration of nullity is required to establish this. The process of obtaining such a declaration is similar to the annulment process.

Grounds for Annulment
Grounds for a marriage being voidable or void ab initio vary in different legal jurisdictions, but are typically limited to fraud, bigamy, and mental incompetence including that:

* Either spouse was already married to someone else at the time of the marriage;

* Either spouse was too young to be married, or too young without required court or parental consent;

* Either spouse was under the influence of drugs or alcohol at the time of the marriage;

* Either spouse was mentally incompetent at the time of the marriage;

* If the consent to the marriage was based on fraud or force;

* Either spouse was physically incapable to be married (typically, inability to have sexual intercourse which persists) at the time of the marriage;

* The marriage is prohibited by law due to the relationship between the parties.

* Infidelity exists in marriage, or partners are unfaithful

You can't predict when knowing something extra about Annulments will come in handy. If you learned anything new in this article, you should print and file it where you can find it again.

Title:

The Progressive NJ Divorce Lawyer

Word Count:

1373

Summary:

How to Improve the Quality of Interviews, Meetings and Settlement Conferences by Learning to Use Advocacy and Inquiry More Effectively.

Keywords:

Advocacy. Inquiry, integrity, Lawyer

Article Body:

As NJ divorce attorneys, we are trained to be advocates in the process known as "adversarial. Many of us self-selected into the legal profession partly because our underlying personality and temperament traits are geared toward advocacy. Similarly, lawyers "the good ones" are typically quite inquisitive. Their questioning techniques, however, often take on the tone of cross-examination.

We can all stand to improve the way we practice the non-adversarial, settlement-oriented part of our profession by paying attention to the way we employ the principles of advocacy and inquiry.

Advocacy is stating one’s views. Examples of advocacy include: sharing how you’re feeling; describing what you’re thinking; stating a judgment; pushing for a particular course of action, decision or outcome; and making demands.

Inquiry is asking a genuine question. By asking real questions, information is truly sought. Rhetorical or leading questions are a kind of advocacy in disguise. We’ve all observed journalists and other questioners with not-so-hidden agendas pose inquiries such as, "Isn’t it true that your administration’s domestic fiscal policy has done a disservice to the elderly?" Another loaded style of pseudo question-asking might go something like, "Some people (not me, of course) might say that you handled yourself rather poorly in the first two debates. How would you respond to such criticism?"

In any discussion or conference we are engaged in, we can be high or low on advocacy. The same can be said for inquiry. Regardless of whether our advocacy and inquiry levels are high or low at a given instance, we can come across positively or negatively, depending upon our style, intent and often habit.

For instance, if we are operating from a high advocacy, low inquiry perspective, we come across quite positively if we are truly explaining our point of view. Cramming our viewpoint down the other party’s throat, conversely, is a destructive tendency. It should be mentioned that high advocacy/low inquiry results in one way communication, even if both people are engaged in it. It can be useful for giving information, but doesn't enhance understanding of diverse perspectives or build commitment to a specific course of action. Advocacy that imposes the proponent’s views on others usually creates either compliance or resistance.

On the other hand, If we are geared up in the inquiry department, but toning down the advocacy, we can conduct meaningful, non-threatening information gathering interviews, or we can find ourselves falling into interrogation mode; a natural tendency for many NJ divorce lawyers. High inquiry/low advocacy results in one way communication in a different sense in that the inquirer refrains from stating his or her views or beliefs. While it can be quite useful for finding out information, it can create difficulties when the inquirer has a hidden agenda, or is really using the questioning process as a device to get the other person to "discover" what the inquirer already thinks is right, or both.

There are certainly times when keeping both advocacy and inquiry levels to minimum is the way to proceed. This is what we’re doing well when we are observing or listening attentively. The flip side in this realm is withdrawal. We’ve all observed this in four-way settlement conferences when a sore topic is being discussed, with one spouse preaching from the soapbox while the other checks out mentally and glazes over. Low inquiry/low advocacy also flows in one direction: Participants watch, but contribute relatively little. This approach is ideally employed when being a tacit observer is useful, but it can create difficulties when participants withhold their views on key issues.

Finally, in the context of energetic sessions when we are high in both advocacy and inquiry departments, mutual learning or appreciation of each other’s viewpoints is the objective. High advocacy/high inquiry fosters two way communication and learning. I state my views and I inquire into yours; I invite you to state your views and inquire into mine. We must be careful, particularly in the context of settlement talks, not to over-work the process. When excessive communications generate too much information density, participants become worn-out, irritable and confused or overwhelmed. Positive energy is a great thing, but it’s also important to keep dialogues down to a manageable pace. Participants need time for things to sink-in. Managing the pace of high advocacy, high inquiry discussion is also indispensable when taking into account the differences between introverted and extraverted (not a spelling error, but rather the Jungian term) personality types. While extraverts often relish high pace, high energy dialogue, introverts often find them quite distracting, if not frankly annoying.

Balancing advocacy with inquiry is necessary. Taken alone, however, the balancing process is not enough to promote a positive meeting of the minds. In order for this to occur, the quality of advocacy and inquiry is also vital. For example, "That’s a really moronic comment. How long did it take you to come up with that one?" is both a statement and a question, but it doesn’t encourage negotiated problem solving. Ideally, our use of advocacy should involve providing information to others and explaining exactly how we moved from observing or collecting this information to our view of the situation. Competent use of inquiry entails honestly seeking others’ views, probing how they arrived at them, and encouraging them to challenge our perspective. Balancing high quality advocacy with high quality inquiry makes significant breakthroughs possible.

A DOZEN PRACTICE TIPS

If we assume that we are obviously right and that our job is to get others to realize what we already know, we will be unable to promote either agreement on a specific issue or ultimate settlement. Accordingly, we are well advised to:

1) Assume from the onset that we may be missing things that others see, and seeing things that others miss. If we begin with this assumption, the result is that we will listen more intelligently and inquire more genuinely without downplaying our own views.

2) Assume that others are acting in ways that make sense to them and that they are motivated to act with integrity. (This advice applies, regardless of whether you believe another to be Demon Seed or the reincarnation of Mother Theresa of Calcutta.)

3) Attempt to understand what leads to behavior that we find problematic. Are others caught-up in dilemmas? Are we contributing to any problems?

4) Help others to understand or appreciate our viewpoints and how we think about them by giving examples of the underlying data we select. Go on to state the meaning that we find in the examples, and explaining the steps in our thinking to others.

5) Describe our understanding of the other’s reasoning.

6) If we notice negative consequences to what others may be doing, identify the consequences without attributing any intent on their part to create those consequences. Distinguish between intent and impact; between motive and outcome.

7) When choosing to disclose our emotions, we must endeavor to do so without implying that the other person is primarily responsible for creating our emotional reactions. Remember also Eleanor Roosevelt’s observation that no one can make us feel inferior without our permission.

8) Find out how others see the situation by asking them to give examples of the information they selected from which they necessarily drew the inferences which lead to their conclusions. Ask them to explain the steps in their thinking.

9) Ask for help in finding out what we may be missing by encouraging others to identify possible gaps or errors in our thinking.

10) When we have difficulty with how others are acting, ask them to explain what has prompted them to act as they have done, in a tone that suggests they may have a reasonable answer.

11) Inquire into others’ feelings and emotions, but don’t ask, "What’s your problem?" or "Why do you get so worked up?" Say, instead, "You appear to be sad about something, am I right? Do you feel comfortable talking about it?"

12) Ask for help in exploring whether we are unknowingly contributing to the problem. Quite often, well-intended action on our part is problematic for others.

These tips have been extraordinarily helpful to many, both in their work and private lives. I hope that you will find them helpful.

Title:

SEPARATION AND DIVORCE: The TOP 12 MISTAKES a WOMAN SHOULD AVOID when it comes to DIVORCE PLANNING.

Word Count:

720

Summary:

A matrimonial divorce settlement is NOT an exact science. Too many women settle for a 50% split of the matrimonial property WITHOUT taking into account matters such as significant disparities between what your husband earns and your own weekly /monthly income and any restrictions your age or health might have on your capacity to earn income. Other traps and pitfalls can be avoided IF you know how.

Keywords:

marital property,marital property agreement,matrimonial home,women,divorce,separation and divorce,divorce law,divorce attorney,women and divorce,

Article Body:

A matrimonial divorce settlement is NOT an exact science. If a financial divorce settlement was a straight mathematical equation, we wouldn't need courts and lawyers to resolve matters. Courts are usually required, under Family Law legislation, to take into account a range of factors in deciding who gets what. Too many women settle for a 50% split of the matrimonial property WITHOUT taking into account matters such as significant disparities between what your husband earns and your own weekly /monthly income and any restrictions your age or health might have on your capacity to earn income.

Another mistake is letting the other spouse retain the matrimonial home EVEN IF you have the ability to buy him out. Real estate property has a habit of increasing in value without you having to do anything. If you pass this up and your spouse pays you out then the problem often is that you don't then have enough money to purchase a property of your own. Deposits, stamp duty, legal fees etc. can put buying another home out of your reach. You're left paying out dead money in rent.

While not as common a mistake, some women will seek to keep the matrimonial home when they really CAN'T afford to financially. If buying out your husband's share in the house is going to involve you taking out a big loan, you need to factor in the monthly loan repayments PLUS outgoings such as rates, building insurance, public liability insurance and general maintenance costs. Only then will you know whether or not you can actually afford to keep the house.

Failing to take other matters such as alimony and child support into consideration BEFORE agreeing on a division of the matrimonial property is another problem. These are NOT matters that should be dealt with in isolation.

It is the current value of property that is taken into account - not replacement value. This means that if the family car is worth $10,000, it is often better to keep it. Too many women find themselves needing a vehicle to get the kids to and from school, football training etc. and having to spend twice what the family car was worth just to replace it. The same mistake is sometimes made when it comes to the marital furniture and effects. They are usually secondhand (even if only recently purchased) and therefore are not worth a lot of money. For example, the fridge that you paid $1,000 for new may now only worth a few hundred dollars. Keeing the bulk of the furniture (if it is in good condition) will avoid you having to pay a lot more money to replace it.

Property settlements may sometimes be amicable but this does not mean they are fair. Do not accept the inflated financial values your husband is likely to put on property that you want to keep and the low value he's likely to put on any property he actually wants to keep.

It is surprising to find women (and sometimes men) arguing over the little things. By this I mean, fighting for items of little financial worth. It's pointless paying hundreds of dollars in legal fees disputing who is going to get a $50 wedding vase or a $150 stamp collection.

Another mistake is overlooking other assets such as boats, trailers, machinery, pensions, retirement funds, stocks, shares and life insurance as matrimonial property and/or financial resources.

Too many women believe that if they go "soft" on their property settlement entitlements, their husband will be easier to deal with as regards the children. This approach rarely produces the desired result. The only real outcome usually is that your spouse perceives you to be weak.

Another very common mistake is seeking divorce financial planning advice from a lawyer instead of a financial planner. What do lawyers know about financial planning?

Some women get sucked into believing that by reaching an informal agreement with their husband that is legally binding. It isn't - even if it's written down and both parties have signed it.

Finally, too many women simply give in to their husband because that's what they've always done. Now is the time to stand up for your self. You are facing separation and divorce, which means that more than ever before, you need to be primarily concerned with your financial future!

© Barry J. Roche

Title:

Cheap Divorce

Word Count:

657

Summary:

Is there such a thing as a cheap divorce? Find out here.

Keywords:

divorce, divorce forms, legal, child support, mediation, separation, annulment, family law, relationships, alimony, custody

Article Body:

Cheap divorce is possible if you are fully aware of all the possible expenses involved. And keep an eye on them. It may require double the effort and attention to try and keep your expenses down to a minimum. But if it really is your main goal and aim it will be worth the try. Try to put your focus on the variables like certain legal representation or the cost of different divorce kits or divorce form packages. Cutting costs here and there can save you money in the big picture.

The actual cost of divorce may range, from context to context. The total number of hours spent on the case and your lawyer’s rate will determine the amount due. To keep track of costs, you must be aware of the Retainer Agreement. Different lawyers vary in their rates for particular duties. Make sure to check out the ranges and choose your attorney accordingly. The hourly rates of these associates or paralegals will be less than their seniors and this can result in a reduction of overall legal costs.

You will have to scout around for a lawyer. By doing this, you will be able to figure out what the prevailing professional rate is. Once you have points for comparison, you may then further investigate those rates which are significantly lower than the rest.

To save you some time, it would be good to ask your friends or relatives for recommendations.

When you have chosen an attorney that offers a lower rate, it’s important to inform him/her that you seriously want to cut down on your costs.

In a do-it-yourself divorce isn’t just about filing papers by yourself, you have got to discuss the terms of the divorce with the other party. Make sure that the both of you can reach a decision regarding the division of property. If you do decide on a do-it-yourself divorce, you will have to acquire the needed forms from on-line or a store in order to file the papers.

Representing yourself in court is your right. But it follows that you will abide by the rules like an attorney would. Remember, whatever you may know of court cases from televisio may not exactly be what’s proper or correct. If you are considering representing yourself in court for your divorce, there are a number of things you must know.

A divorce kit contains guidelines for pursuing a divorce in a certain state, as well as forms that you may simply fill in and present to the court. Most of these kits are marketed with the concept of fast and trouble-free outcomes. These divorce kits are easily found on the internet, but they may be available in certain publication stores.
A divorce kit may offer the advantages of a quick divorce but it requires careful follow-through.

Online divorce forms may be grouped according to kind or by state because of the specific requirements that may vary from state to state. They may also come in packages depending on your state and the context of your divorce.

Forms from generic legal books, may easily become rejected by the court if specific requirements of the state you reside in are not addressed. Also, online divorce forms can be updated much easier and quicker than those found in legal self-help references. You can be assured of updated divorce forms and material.

By searching for free divorce forms and papers on the internet, you can get a head start on the separation between you and your spouse. Checking out any free divorce forms and papers that you may have access to over the internet gives you a chance to understand precisely what may be required during the process of divorce. Just going over the sample forms over the internet can provide you with the knowledge you need in order to familiarize yourself with the necessary procedures in order to finalize a divorce.

Title:

Prevent Divorce Basics

Word Count:

817

Summary:

Your marriage is in trouble, and you know that even though you want to get it all over with that you still love your partner and that you will probably regret your actions in the near future, the action needed is clear- you need to prevent divorce.

Divorce is not the answer, and rushing into one is a big mistake, the divorce process will eliminate your chances of rebuilding your relationship, so you better consider this move carefully and be absolutely sure that you have ...

Keywords:

prevent divorce, divorce prevention, stop divorce

Article Body:

Your marriage is in trouble, and you know that even though you want to get it all over with that you still love your partner and that you will probably regret your actions in the near future, the action needed is clear- you need to prevent divorce.

Divorce is not the answer, and rushing into one is a big mistake, the divorce process will eliminate your chances of rebuilding your relationship, so you better consider this move carefully and be absolutely sure that you have exhausted all the means and ways to improve your relationship.

Your spouse does not understand you, and both of you are not communicating any more, it seems as though there is a huge gap between you, that even the smallest things makes you upset about each other, and that what was once easy and fun has now become unbearable. Preventing divorce is not about compromise, preventing divorce is about rediscovering your relationship.

The changes in relationships seem almost impossible, from once passionate lovers that could not bare being apart couples change into two different people that sometimes seek the opportunity to be as separate from one another as possible. The dangers of the growing distance between couple raises questions in their minds and in many cases this ends in a divorce.

Every person is different, every couple has its own unique story, but the bottom line is usually this – one or both partners think that it is impossible to turn the relationship into something that will flourish again, with the hope of regaining the love of the other lost the partners turn into the simplest and what seems like the easiest solution, instead of fighting and arguing over and over again, the clean cut divorce looks like a good solution.

Sometimes and in some cases this is probably the best way to go, divorce for some couples is the best answer to a hopeless situation. But if you are one of the many people who feel that not all hope is gone and that you wish to continue building the relationship you have with your partner, who at a certain time was the closest to you, this is the place to start looking inwards and outwards and work to regain your harmoniums loving relationship once again.

Good relationships start with good communication, it is almost sure that you once had a relationship with good communication, you can probably remember the days when you didn’t have enough time with your spouse to talk about all the plans you had for your life and to share your thoughts? How long has it been now? How many years since you last had a really good communication exchange? After you’ve exhausted the discussion about the children’s schedule, who has to drop off the dry cleaning and when you will visit your in-laws, do you find yourself at a loss for words?

You are not alone. There is nothing wrong with either of you. You are probably just mired in everyday life and because your daily schedule is so hectic, over the years you simply ran out of time for casual and enjoyable discussion. And, now you can’t even remember how to even talk to your spouse, stopping or preventing a divorce will mean that you will need to rethink the way you communicate.

Good communication is not so hard and it is vital for preventing a divorce, it is just plain simple work, until you get used to it. Instead of talking about the regular things, you will need to think a little harder and try a lot harder. Talk about real things, not the work routine and the children’s activities think of things you want to talk about, you’ll find yourself anxious to get home to share the information with your spouse. Avoid the topics that do not interest you spouse, remember that this is about the both of you, and what you find interesting, just finding this topic will earn you points for trying, do not plan ahead too much – just let yourself into a discussion about things you have not discussed for long.

Listen to the news in the morning or on your way to work. When you are listening, try to focus on those things you think your spouse would find interesting. What would she tell you about? Then ask her if she heard the story, and what she thought about it.

Talk about things you want to plan or do over the next month or two. Vacation planning is a good topic, but only if you are both looking forward to going and if you are both actively involved in planning for the vacation.

Preventing divorce is a complicated issue – not impossible one. You will need to invest time and energy into you marriage now, and do everything you can to prevent divorce. Good luck!.

Title:

Divorce and Hidden Assets

Word Count:

656

Summary:

Hiding Assets is not the norm in divorce proceedings, but it does happen. Find out how to find out if your spouse has hidden assets in preparation for a divorce.

Keywords:

divorce, divorce law, divorce help, divorce and assets, divorce hidden assets

Article Body:

Not surprisingly, assets are often hidden in a divorce situation. Why - well simply greed, or the feelings of betrayal or anger at the need to divide assets in the divorce, or the fear of not having enough after the divorce all motivate the behavior of hiding assets.

In divorce, the parties assets are divided. Under the divorce laws of some states they are divided equally and under the divorce laws of other states, they are divided "equitably" or fairly. Equitably often means equally to overworked divorce judges.

There is no way to know in advance if your spouse has or will hide assets in a divorce. You know your spouse better than your divorce attorney will and you will need to alert your attorney to the possibility of your spouse hiding assets. Before you get to that point, however, there are some easy steps to take to prevent your spouse from being able to hide assets. Those steps include finding out everything you can about your assets before divorce.

Before you alert your spouse that you are considering divorce, you need to compile and/or stockpile documentation about all of your assets. If you do not have knowledge of your marital assets, it is time to find out what is there. If bank and other statements come to the house, open them and write down account numbers and balances.

If you have access to the cancelled checks, copy those as well. It is not unusual for a spouse who is planning a divorce to transfer money to friends or relatives with the plan being that they will give that money back after a divorce is finalized. So, you should review those records and carefully scrutinize all large or suspicious transfers that take place in the two or three years prior to or just after the filing of a divorce action.

Make sure that you know where the copies of your income tax statements are. If your spouse has a business, make sure you have a copy of several years of tax returns for that business. All of these documents can be copied and hidden safely somewhere outside of the house in the event that you need them. Taking these simple pre-emptive steps can mean the difference in obtaining a fair settlement in divorce. It will also be incredibly helpful to your divorce attorney to have this information in advance.

If banking and other statements and financial records are not kept at or mailed to your house, you will need to obtain those records in other ways. You can contact the IRS to obtain copies of any tax returns that you signed. Request copies of those returns and have them mailed to a different address - either a friend or relative or your divorce attorney. If there are returns that you have not signed, such as business tax records, you will not be able to obtain copies of those returns from the IRS. If you have access to your spouse's place of business, you may be able to find those tax returns there. If you are worried about your spouse hiding assets in a divorce, you really do need to find those returns and make copies of them - for as many years as possible.

If you have valuables, antiques, jewelry, art or other collectibles in your home, catalog all of them and if you have appraisals, make copies. It is not unusual for those items to disappear or even to be pawned by a spouse in need of more funds.

If you suspect that your spouse has engaged in some divorce planning and is hiding assets, let your divorce attorney know. Ask your divorce attorney to subpoena records from any other individual or entity who could be involved in assisting your spouse in hiding those assets. If need be, your attorney can use the services of an investigator to help to obtain financial records that have been withheld.

Title:

Joint Custody in Divorce

Word Count:

484

Summary:

Criteria Courts consider in awards of joint custody

Keywords:

joint custody, divorce, family, law, lawyer, children, Toronto, Markham

Article Body:

There had been a growing trend, in Ontario, in family and divorce law, over the last few years, for family courts to order joint custody of children. The hope, by some, was that the parenting skills of the parties could be improved with awards of joint custody. The recent Ontario Court of Appeal decision of Kaplanis v. Kaplanis, has tried to put this trend into perspective.

In this decision, the parties were married in 1998 and separated in January 2002. The parties had a daughter who was born in October 2001. At trial, the father requested joint custody and the mother opposed the application, stating that the parties could not communicate without screaming at each other. The trial judge granted the parties joint custody and the mother appealed the order. The appeal court set aside the order of joint custody and the mother was granted sole custody.

The Appeal Court held that, for an award of joint custody to be granted, there must be some evidence that demonstrates, that despite the parent’s own strong conflict with each other, the parties can and have cooperated and communicated appropriately with one another. In this case there was evidence to the contrary, there was no expert evidence to help the trial judge determine how a joint custody order would advance the child’s emotional and psychological needs and the child was too young to communicate her own wishes.

Approximately the same time this case was decided, the Ontario Court of Appeal also ruled on the case of Ladisa v. Ladisa, where the appeal court upheld the trial judge’s order of joint custody. In this case the trial judge had the benefit of hearing the evidence of the Children’s Lawyer who presented the children’s wishes and who recommended joint custody. It was held that the trial judge had heard evidence from third parties with respect to cooperation and appropriate communication between the parties. The trial judge also looked at the history of co-parenting during the marriage and that despite their intense conflict, the parties could and had effectively communicated with each other and placed the interests of their children ahead their own, when required.

To summarize, in Ontario joint custody cases, it would appear that the courts will now be looking more closely for evidence from third party and expert witnesses, which can demonstrate that the parties can and have cooperated and communicated appropriately and have been able to put aside their own differences and conflict, for the benefit of the children. The lack of historical cooperation and appropriate communication between the parties will greatly limit the success of a joint custody application. The assumption by some, that the granting of joint custody will improve the parenting skills of the parties, will not be a sufficient reason on it’s own to grant joint custody, in the absence of existing good cooperation and communication between the parties.

Title:

Divorce Advice, Where Can You Turn?

Word Count:

450

Summary:

Divorce is such a nasty thing and people should hate the destruction and harm that it does to everyone involved. The problem is that even people that hate it become victims of it inevitably. So there needs to be a source of divorce advice for those that are not using it selfishly as a way to "legitimately" escape a relationship for purely selfish reasons. Reasons like desiring more sexual conquest, or escape from something hard like a terminal illness in a spouse, or bad fina...

Keywords:

divorce advice

Article Body:

Divorce is such a nasty thing and people should hate the destruction and harm that it does to everyone involved. The problem is that even people that hate it become victims of it inevitably. So there needs to be a source of divorce advice for those that are not using it selfishly as a way to "legitimately" escape a relationship for purely selfish reasons. Reasons like desiring more sexual conquest, or escape from something hard like a terminal illness in a spouse, or bad financial luck in a spouse, or simply lack of loyalty, and unwillingness to put in the effort that the normal hard work that a relationship takes.

People should not be rewarded for pettiness, selfishness, greed, shallow hearts, laziness, lust, deceit, and on and on. Therefore there needs to be divorce advice for both holding these people accountable and for protecting the people that are victimized by the cruelty of some. At this time advice that does these things is sadly very rare, and this is part of the reason why divorce is so rampant in today's society.

When you think of victims most of the time your mind pictures a poor helpless middle-aged mother who has been abandoned by an evil "player" husband for a younger and less "used" woman. This victim chose out of love and loyalty to forgo the chance to better herself with an education and career to love and raise their children and bears the scars of this sacrifice literally and figuratively. While these scars of sacrifice should make her more sexy to a man who can see and understand what a gift to him they are, they do just the opposite, and he takes off. This is common and these women need good sound divorce advice for protection and to preserve their future.

Presently however this is becoming less and less typical now the opposite is true. The man who is loyal and working hard to raise his kids and provide for his family is the unattractive and boring one who gets dropped like a bad habit for a more exciting and dangerous man. These men, because this is a relatively new phenomena made possible in large part by the women's liberation movement (which had its good points, don't get me wrong), are in desperate need of good divorce advice because they find it harder to convince judges of their plight.

The good news is that good divorce is there to find for whatever case you may find yourself in. It is becoming more common too as the demand gets greater sadly. So there is hope you just need to do your homework and you will recover from this terrible time.

Title:

How to avoid divorce

Word Count:

583

Summary:

Every marriage hits a rough spot occasionally. And while not every marriage should attempt to be salvaged, a great many more than are saved today should and can be through concerted efforts.

Keywords:

avoid divorce,law

Article Body:

Every marriage hits a rough spot occasionally. And while not every marriage should attempt to be salvaged, a great many more than are saved today should and can be through concerted efforts. So, the first step in avoiding divorce is recognizing that the fact that you have come to this point in your relationship is not unusual, but it does indicate that something must change if it is to survive. But before you go through a mental litany of everything that needs to change as justification for giving up, realize that there is help out there and if you are willing to put in the time and commitment, you can make your marriage work even when it seems that you and your partner have reached the end of the road.


Marriage Counselling

Marriage counselling can be a very effective instrument in putting a marriage that seems to be going down the divorce path back onto the right track. Counselling helps couples to identify the root of their marital problems and solve them with a little help from a professional counsellor trained in mediation. Finding an effective marriage counsellor, however, requires a bit of work on your part. Many counsellors will offer a free consultation. Ask for recommendations from friends, but in part you should call 10 or so counsellors, ask for their price packages ahead of time and then schedule consultations with the 3 or 4 that meet your pricing needs. Make sure that when you go into these consultations you grade the effectiveness on how BOTH you and your spouse feel about the individual.


Self Help

There are also many self-help tools available in the market today. There are some excellent books and articles on how to make marriages work, how to re-ignite the spark in a relationship and how a few simple steps can bring back the love in a relationship that had turned hateful. Both partners can get a lot of inspiration, advice and ideas on how to make relationships work from such books and articles. You can even find help when you think there is infidelity in your marriage. There are books and articles out there, which tell you why people cheat or stray out of line and what you can do about it.


The common thread in all of these self help guides is communication and understanding. By making an effort to understand where your spouse is coming from, and them where you are, and then making compromises and communicating, most marital problems will become alleviated.


Resorts

Then there are many resorts that are specially designed to create an ambience which is conducive to romance. These vacation packages are easy to find and require only that you be on the look out. The point of these resorts is to reinvigorate a relationship by introducing some of the passion and spontaneity that over time can be watered down by obligations and daily responsibilities. These events attempt to eliminate outside stresses so that you can focus on your spouse, and in so doing rekindle the love you feel for one another.


All in all, if you are willing to put in your best efforts to stop your marriage from slipping away, there is now help at hand and you need not have to fight alone. By utilizing the tools of counsellors, self help and resorts you can go a long way to giving your marriage the best chance for survival. But beyond survival, these tools can help ensure you a happy lifelong relationship.

Title:

After Divorce: Seven Ways to Rediscover Your True Passion

Word Count:

1798

Summary:

Divorce is not easy or fun but you can make it through this hard time by rediscovering yourself and your passions.

Keywords:

divorce, dating, passion, love, relationships, relationship coaching, self improvement, getting through divorce, human behavior, success in life, bad relationships

Article Body:

Going through a divorce is a very challenging time in a person’s life. It is hard to adjust to being single again, as well as living “out of the habit” of being married, especially if you have been married for many, many years.

Eventually, you begin to think about dating, but it is suggested that you take your time. Use this precious opportunity to rediscover yourself. Think of this time in your life as an adventure to explore the real you. If you have worked outside the home combined with being a mom and wife for the last ten, fifteen or twenty years, you may have lost yourself along the way. Certainly not on purpose, but as most women try to do it all as “super” moms, many times we put our own wants and needs on hold to keep our families and jobs running smoothly!

Take a deep breath and let’s start to rediscover our true passions and say…Will the Real Me Please Stand Up!

1. Treasure Your Gifts Within
Realizing we are all born as “gold nuggets” is a hard concept for many women to believe about themselves. Think about how magnificent you really are! Over time, you might have forgotten your unique gifts and are only thinking of what you don’t like about yourself or your life. Set a new intention, starting today, to list all of your great qualities and read that list everyday. Keep reading it until you believe it. Examples: beautiful smile, kindness, generosity, loving, caring, intelligent… keep going. Your list is endless, when you start focusing on your great qualities. Allow yourself to see the shining gold within. It’s already there!

2. Give Yourself A Break
During and after a divorce it is common to have the feeling of grieving, similar to that of the loss of someone. Many women feel the need to stay busy to keep their minds off of this stressful time, such as working overtime or cleaning the house from top to bottom, but let this time also include pampering yourself. Barter with a friend or neighbor to watch your children or leave work a few minutes early so you can stop to sit on a park bench long enough to get that sense of the unique and special YOU. Take this time to experience life even for only 10 minutes without feeling like a wife, mother, sister or daughter… simply you!

Yes, you do deserve to do something special for yourself. It can be as simple as taking a bath or a walk, going to the mall or reading a book with your favorite cup of tea. Give yourself permission - it’s O.K. Remember, the happier you are, the happier your family will be!

3. No regrets! No bitterness!
Holding onto regrets and bitterness will only keep your life from moving forward. Is your inner voice working overtime with all the “what ifs” and “if onlys”? This is normal for a period of time, but ask yourself…are these thoughts serving me or helping me feel better? Will thinking about them over and over again change anything? To move your life forward, it is important to acknowledge your feelings and to learn from your past experiences to prepare yourself for the next exciting chapter of your life. Yes, there is life after divorce. Learn to let it go! Just, let it go!

A quote from Buddy Hackett, “I never hold a grudge because while I am being angry, the other person is out dancing.”

4. Enjoy the Little Things
Life after divorce usually means added responsibilities. If you are a single parent or are now the one responsible for the once shared to-do list, how do you handle it all without being totally stressed out? To start, learn to laugh more, especially at yourself. Learn to let things go and not take life so seriously. Lighten-up! Learn to live in the present moment. Living in the present is where all the “good stuff” in life happens. Yesterday’s worries are gone forever and tomorrow’s to-do list can wait. Think of it this way, when one is missing this moment in time, one is missing out on one’s life.

So how do we live in the present?

If you are feeling stressed, immediately leave your thoughts in your head and take off your blinders. (Blinders similar to what a horse would wear, not allowing it to see from side to side). Start to look around you. I mean really look around you. Look closely at everything. Really focus. Use all your senses! For example, if you are with your children observe them. Cherish their smiles. Give them a hug. See the true beauty of who they are and appreciate them for being a part of your life. You will start to feel your stress subside and a feeling of peace sweep over you.

To be present, no matter where you are, use all your senses to pull you back into the moment. Take time to appreciate all the beauty that already exists around you. You only have to be present to see it!

5. What Makes Your Heart Sing?
What really matters to you? What do you feel is your true purpose in life? If someone asked you that question, how would you answer them?

Why is it so important to be clear on what your life’s purpose is? Knowing your purpose, will give you a true sense of who you are and why you were put on this earth. It gives your life direction and helps you make clear and easy decisions concerning that direction. It’s your compass! Without a purpose, can your life be compared to a piece of driftwood; Floating endlessly in whichever direction the tide decides to take it and ending up on any beach with no will of its’ own?

When you live your life based on your purpose you are living in integrity with yourself and are in alignment of who you really are in all aspects of your life - body, mind and spirit. Take this time to focus on what really matters to you. Feel the true passions that exist in your heart and write them down.

6. What Are Your Vibes Saying About You?
Are you familiar with the Law of Attraction? Maybe you have heard the expressions, “What you think about, you bring about” or “The more attention you give to something, the more attention it will give to you.” When going through a divorce, your emotions can be compared to a roller coaster ride. Use this time to become reconnected to your inner awareness of who you are. Learn to sit still and quiet until you understand what emotions you are feeling. Realize that your feelings and sensations are okay, then learn to listen to what your mind and body are telling you.

Here is a great tip…recognize if your feelings are low energy or high energy.

A few examples of low energy are stress, negativity, fear, resentment, or a sense of lack (lack of time or money) and high energy is joy, abundance, happy, positive, love or compassion. If you are having feelings of low energy, how do you make a shift to feel more of the high energy?

First, acknowledge and accept the feelings you are having. Be gentle with yourself! Your goal is to make a shift, but realize you might not be able to go from low to high instantly. Start with baby steps! Repeat step number one and become present! Be thankful for what is working in your life right now. Do something simple like pat your pet, smell a flower or, if you are in the office, take a minute to think of a previous fun time or experience you have had that could bring a smile to your face. Feel the shift you are starting to make in your energy.

Now, to amp up this high energy feeling, think of another time of joy or something you were passionate about in your life. Keep adding these thoughts to your high energy feeling and begin to feel great! Does it seem the people or situations around you have changed or is it you who has really changed? So, who has the power to feel their own joy? When you are feeling your high energy, this is the time to take your next inspired action and enjoy the feeling of accomplishing something with ease and less effort!

7. Be True To Yourself
During and even after a divorce, we are often filled with doubts. We question ourselves about what is right, what to do or how we feel. Should I or shouldn’t I? It seems difficult to make a decision. Listen to your heart. What feels right? What doesn’t feel quite right? If a situation does not feel right, honor your resistance by pausing or waiting. Sometimes waiting is the best thing to do. By waiting you may have allowed the situation to unfold more easily without having to worry! If a decision feels good or right, usually that means you are heading in the right direction. When we listen to our hearts, we are in integrity with ourselves. When we are in integrity with ourselves, we learn to say NO more easily.

Has this ever happened to you? You are asked to be on a committee or to volunteer for something and you say yes, even though you know it will make your schedule even tighter or you really don’t want to or have to?

How do you stop this from happening? Next time you are in this situation and you are ready to say yes, yet, find yourself having doubts, try this … STOP! Take a breath or even take a step back (this action will prevent you from saying yes). Pause! Thank the person for thinking of you, but let them know you will have to check your calendar and get back to them. When you do have time to think about it, focus on how you are feeling. Are you excited to volunteer or do you feel some resistance? If in a day or two you are still feeling doubtful, realize the timing might not be right for you. If you are still excited, join the committee and have fun!

Divorce is not easy or fun and you can make it through this time of your life by realizing you WILL make it! Also, honor yourself and listen to your heart! Your true purpose and passions are waiting to be rediscovered within you! When you have discovered the “gold nugget” you already are, you will start to live your life with more ease and enjoy the feeling of peace. “You are truly free!”

Title:

How To Break The News Of Divorce To Your Kids

Word Count:

717

Summary:

Divorce can be a traumatic experience for your children. No matter how old they are, the divorce will be hard for them to understand and eventually to accept. Some children in fact harbor hopes that their parents will get back together even after several years of living apart.

Many children feel that they are the ones at fault when their parents break up. Although this may seem illogical to adults, children can find associations in the most incongruous of things. As often ...

Keywords:

Article Body:

Divorce can be a traumatic experience for your children. No matter how old they are, the divorce will be hard for them to understand and eventually to accept. Some children in fact harbor hopes that their parents will get back together even after several years of living apart.

Many children feel that they are the ones at fault when their parents break up. Although this may seem illogical to adults, children can find associations in the most incongruous of things. As often attested by revelations during therapy, children often feel that they could have done something to prevent the break-up in the family. There are those “what ifs” and “could have beens.” If they were good and obedient children, would they have prevented the split? If they did not get into trouble in school, would their parents stay together?

One of the crucial moments that parents should take note of and prepare themselves is the way that they will break the news to their children. Although explaining it properly will not necessarily lessen the pain of knowing that their parents will be splitting up but at least a proper explanation will help prevent misunderstandings especially in what caused the break up in the first place.

Remember that young children are very impressionable. Everything that you do, whether you want them to see or not, can mean something. It is important that you tell them what’s going on to avoid misrepresentations.

Below are some tips on how to break the news of the divorce to your kids.

Never make them feel that they have to choose.

Divorce is a traumatic experience as it is without asking the children to choose sides. This will put them right in the middle of marital trouble. This is not fair because the kids are not really part of the problems that you and your partner are having. Pressuring them to judge who is right and wrong can worsen the trauma that they will be experiencing.

Still, during custody battles, choosing sides cannot be avoided. Although in some cases, especially if the children are a bit older, they are asked to choose which parents they would rather live with.

Never badmouth your partner

Remember that whatever happens, your partner is still a part of their lives, someone who they need to respect and love. Whatever troubles that you have in your relationship should not affect the children in any way. As long as your partner is doing his best to provide for the kids and is a good father, there is no need for them to know what a rotten person he can be sometimes.

Explain clearly.

Although your children will not necessarily understand completely what is going on, there is no need to create fantastical explanations. Just tell them the truth, that you are going to start living apart and they may have to live with each of you separately or live with one parent for the rest of their lives.

Consider their feelings and try to talk to them about it Divorce can be painful for the couple as they are the ones directly involved but you must remember that kids are very vulnerable and they are not as resilient as adults.

It is not enough that you tell them what’s going on. You also have to ask them what their feelings are about what happened. This way, you are able to address their fears and insecurities right then and there.

As mentioned before, kids often feel that it is their fault that their parents are breaking up. You have to reassure them that this is not true and they were not in any way at fault.

Tell them that it’s ok for them to talk to you about it.

Children will have questions about what happened. They might not be able to verbalize it just yet but they will eventually reveal what bothers them about the situation. Encourage them to come and talk to you if they have additional questions. Tell them that it’s ok for them to tell you how they feel and they will be very much welcome to ask you anything they want. Keeping the communications line open will help ease the tension and clear up a lot of potential sources of misunderstandings.

Title:

"5 Ways To Ensure You Will Have a Happy Life After Divorce"

Word Count:

749

Summary:

Life after divorce is something that most people who are going through divorce think about. Thinking about having a life after divorce or thinking about how your life will be after divorce, are common because people tend to fear for themselves.

Keywords:

life after divorce

Article Body:

In fact, think about having a life after divorce while getting a divorce can be a sticking point for some people because they just aren't sure what their life will "look like" after divorce.

Here's 5 things to keep in mind so can have a life after divorce:

Life after divorce item 1: Think about your emotional stability...if you wanted the divorce or not, you must face it head on.
Divorce is tough and whether you're going through it or your are already past it, your emotional stability is of vital importance because you might tend to be somewhat touchy after going through an emotional ordeal. Keep in mind that your life after divorce can be great but you must admit that you will go through (or have gone through) a trying time in your life. Admitting this and facing your situation head on is important to your emotional stability and critical to you having a happy life after divorce.

Life after divorce item 2: Look at the bright side, having life after divorce could be a new start for you!
How may times in your life do you wish you could have just started over knowing what you know now? If you answered "many", don't worry, that's a common thought most of us have. Having a positive mental attitude about your new beginning will make a huge difference in how happy your life will be after divorce. Life after divorce can be fantastic and it can also be very tough if you don't remain positive about a what's in front of you. Look at the glass as being "half full" and realize that, in order to be happy after divorce, you must take advantage of the opportunity to get a fresh start!

Life after divorce item 3: Surround yourself with people you like in your free time.
Too often times people start new relationships with just about anyone because they are lonely while getting a divorce or after getting a divorce. Sparking a relationship, romantic or friendly, with anyone and everyone who will spend time with you can contribute to unhappiness in your life after divorce. Stop and think about the people that you spend time with and ask yourself, "Once my emotional turmoil has ended, would I really want to keep the relationship going with this person?". Life after divorce is tough...so, when you're deciding about divorce, going through one, or already have been through a divorce, make sure that you carefully choose who to spend your free time with or you may fall into more negativity in your life after divorce.

Life after divorce item 4: Make it a point to spend time doing things that you like to do every week.
Make sure that you spend time enjoying your life after divorce - don't forget to 'stop and smell the roses'. Some people vent, work, go into hiding, or just plain go haywire after getting a divorce and their subsequent life after divorce isn't as healthy as possible. At least once a week, take the time to go and do something that you really enjoy doing...it will help you deal with your life after divorce in a more pleasing manner.

Life after divorce item 5: Set specific goals and implement a plan to achieve those goals.
Life after divorce is a tumultuous time, your life can seemingly be 'in the balance'. In order to make sure that you feel good about yourself and enjoy the feeling that accomplishment brings, think about a goal or set of goals that you've always had but never attained. Then, prioritize those goals and devise a plan to obtain them, one by one. Implement each plan and be happy (in fact celebrate) once you've reached your goal. Your life after divorce will be markedly better and healthier if you take this concept to heart and follow it.

Visualizing your life after divorce (and thinking about what your life might be like after divorce) is a sound and logical thing to do in order to be happy after divorce. Your life after divorce does not need to be a continuation of the pain you might have gone through or are currently going through.

Life after divorce can be extremely liberating if you act based on logic plus positive emotions rather than negativity. If divorce is eminent or you've already been through divorce, take the time to actually plan your life after divorce.

Title:

Who Suffers More In A Divorce?

Word Count:

708

Summary:

The name divorce has been a household word for people who need it, or just take it as fashion on self-realization for the never ending illusion for the search of “Miss or Mr. Right” for a mate in life. Even in the confines of the most settled or established homes the word “divorce” hovers as a threat to the solemnity of conjugal partnership because of the environmental changes in trends, culture, ignoring some already practiced social conventions.

To be scared of divorce ...

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Article Body:

The name divorce has been a household word for people who need it, or just take it as fashion on self-realization for the never ending illusion for the search of “Miss or Mr. Right” for a mate in life. Even in the confines of the most settled or established homes the word “divorce” hovers as a threat to the solemnity of conjugal partnership because of the environmental changes in trends, culture, ignoring some already practiced social conventions.

To be scared of divorce is no longer accounted in such places as United States, Japan, Korea, and Canada, United Kingdom and the commonwealth. As matter of fact, the rise in the U.S. Canada, United Kingdom and the Commonwealth countries is phenomenal that it becomes more of a fashion in today’s society. There are still countries, more strongly attached to their traditional roots and values such as the Philippines and some other Asian countries that merely ignore away any proposition in the legislature to adapt divorce.

These countries though they could perceive the real need of divorce are simply not adept toward the impact of some harsh realities experienced by some people within the conjugal partnership. These people are beset by conditions and problems that can’t be resolved and the only way out is to find a legal means to free from each other from the bondage of marriage’s brutalities that connect husband and wife who find no solution to their differences. In the Bible, Jesus speaks of “divorce” in exceptional unresolved cases in married life. However, though, conditions in what he wanted to apply in the kind of divorce he taught is rampantly tampered, that of not marrying another again. Still sticking to the spiritual rule “Let no man put asunder.”

Impact of divorce to the defunct family (husband, wife, and children), the effects carried about in that marriage (dividing material things acquired, rights covered by the law, such as custody to children, alimony, etc) is tremendous. Legal fights in courts find it so unwholesome to the growing kids. Other children who are growing up psychologically immature are thrown to traumatic state they suffer for the rest of their lives.

Since “divorce” is the dissolution of marriage, once it is approved, marriage became null and void in any circumstances it was presented. The annulment that rendered the partnership void does not however carry with it the effects that marriage carry. There are so many conditions that the law impose to protect the psychological, sociological and the emotional health of the each, especially the children, protecting their present and future lives. Allowing separated husband and wife to marry immediately after the divorce are of two different conditions. The man could remarry earlier whereas the woman has to wait for specified days under the circumstance of the law. This is due to the specifications as to the paternity of any child born to the woman after sometime she remarries.

To avoid impending confusion on paternal claim and responsibilities, further extent of time is set for her to remarry that will make definite assurance, the child has not been fathered by the divorced husband. In the presence of confusion because there was conflict in the time of remarriage, the second man should accept or conform to his paternal status to the child, and amenable to full support both moral and material. It passes thru legal process within the scope of duly accepted norm of conduct of the present husband. It may not necessarily undergo formal legal proceedings but what ever the concerned parties had agreed upon privately, may be ratified by the law. This sounds true to the divorced spouses. Any agreement between them in like manner will also be ratified.

There are two kinds of divorce, the absolute and the limited. Absolute divorce is the judicial terminations of marriage bonds because of grieve misconduct of either one or both parties after the divorce has been processed. It also concerns about other statutory causes arising after the separation. Both the divorced husband and wife become single again.

Limited divorce is merely like a separation decree. It terminates merely the cohabitation of concerned husband and wife. It does not state the dissolution of marriage, and their status is not altered.

Title:

Divorce: Tips to Get Through and Beat the Stress

Word Count:

301

Summary:

During this period you may feel like your life is falling apart. However, the end of marriage can be the beginning of personal growth - after you get your stress under control.

Keywords:

Divorce: Tips to Get Through and Beat the Stress

Article Body:

Going through a divorce can leave you angry, in grief and filled with mixed emotions. In other words, it can be a time of intense stress.

During this period you may feel like your life is falling apart. However, the end of marriage can be the beginning of personal growth - after you get your stress under control.

To help you get your life back on track, experts recommend working on yourself from the inside out.

For example, studies show that taking an all-natural supplement, like Vital StressX can help the body's natural defenses fight against the emotional wear and tear of a divorce, such as lack of sleep. Made by CyberWize.com, Vital StressX contains a unique combination of seven herbs, called "adaptogens," that help your body regulate cortisol, the "stress hormone."

"By taking Vital StressX each day, you'll increase your body's tolerance to stressful conditions, helping you become balanced and active once more," said Dr. Robert D'Amico, an osteopathic specialist in Tarpon Springs, Fla.

In addition, CyberWize.com offers the following stress-relieving tips to help you get through your divorce.

* Write a letter to your ex-spouse. Getting your feelings out of your system is a healthy way to start recovering from anger, resentment and other emotions. But after you're finished writing the letter, don't send it. Rip up the note and throw it away along with your sorrows.

* Seek counseling. Discussing the failed relationship with a professional can help you identify what went wrong and figure out what you need to do to recover and learn from the experience. Also, it can help you share your deepest feelings in a safe, secure environment where you won't be judged.

* Sweat it out. Exercising regularly does more than keep you fit. It also releases endorphins and is a great outlet for anger.

Title:

Divorce and Lawyers

Word Count:

457

Summary:

Choosing a divorce lawyer is a crucial decision in a divorce procedure. Divorce lawyers will be there from the beginning of the procedure. It is vital that the legal advice he/she gives you is good advice. If is not familiar with the divorce process and the grounds or laws for divorce in your particular state, it is very important that you choose a divorce lawyer who can enlighten you and offer you the best representation. Also make sure that you feel comfortable and can trust your lawyer.

Keywords:

divorce, divorce forms, legal, child support, mediation, separation, annulment, family law, relationships, alimony, custody

Article Body:

Do I need a lawyer?

Check out the following circumstances to make sure whether you need to have a lawyer or not.

• You and your spouse have been wed for at least 5 years
• You and your spouse have kids.
• Either you or your spouse is the breadwinner while the other may have difficulty getting on his/her own two feet financially speaking, once the divorce is finalized.
• You or your spouse has come upon inheritance while married to one another.
• Either you or your spouse is in debt.


Where can I get a divorce lawyer?

There are a many ways to get a divorce lawyer. Also try asking your marriage counselor or therapist for a referral. Of course you may ask your relatives or friends as well. Other lawyers can recommend those attorneys which specialize in divorce also.

It is also possible if you may even go straight to the courthouse to check out if a particular divorce lawyer strikes your fancy. No matter where you look, may it be in the yellow pages or in directories on-line, you should assess their credentials.


Meeting a lawyer for consultation

After finding a promising lawyer, the next step would be to meet him/her for consultation. If he/she is hard to reach then this may be a sign that you may have a hard time getting in contact with him/her once you hire him/her as your divorce lawyer. Find out how much he/she may charge for consultation. What exactly is his/her specialization? It’s important that he/she specializes in divorce, for you to have the best representation. You wouldn’t want a gynecologist dealing with your heart disease would you? Of course you’d seek the help of a cardiologist and with legal matters it goes the same. Seek the help of a divorce attorney for divorce concerns.


What you ought to know after consultation with a divorce lawyer

The first time you meet with a divorce lawyer may be one of the few times that you are the one who gets to do most of the asking. Make the most of it. Find out everything you need to know in order to make the right choice of attorney. After speaking with a lawyer, make sure you’ve discussed the following matters:

• Length of practice
• Case specialization
• Divorce trial experience
• Experience in negotiation for settlements
• Familiarity with divorce mediators
• Custody dispute experience
• Familiarity with tax issues of divorce
• Familiarity with your particular situation/context
• Projected period of time for your case
• Projected outcome for your case
• Schedule and methods of contacting him/her
• Fee (Including specifics, like if travel time is included)
• Manner of billing

Title:

Child custody, in and out of court settling of San Diego divorce cases

Word Count:

867

Summary:

With the increase in the number of San Diego divorce cases, there comes a complication of the issue of child custody to an extent that could not have been imagined before. A San Diego divorce case does not entail just the problem of the separation of the two spouses,

Keywords:

San Diego divorce,divorce attorney,child custody,divorce,Lawyers,San Diego,attorney

Article Body:

With the increase in the number of San Diego divorce cases, there comes a complication of the issue of child custody to an extent that could not have been imagined before. A San Diego divorce case does not entail just the problem of the separation of the two spouses, but also the division of assets, assigning child custody and handling the taxes in a beneficial way for the divorcing parties. Because of the legal complications of the San Diego divorce cases and the associated child custody hearings, lawyers find themselves getting closer and closer to the separating couple, to the extent of becoming some sort of personal advisors. On many occasions, the lawyer is the only one to be able to properly deal with the complexities of a San Diego divorce. A San Diego divorce can become so stressful that the members of the couple end up losing control of their behavior, especially when child custody is at stake.

The issue of child custody may appear during several stages of a San Diego divorce case. For one thing, given the delicate nature of the situation, the attorneys may advise the couple to settle child custody out of court, so as not to leave the final decision in the hands of a judge that does not personally know the family and their circumstances. However, the question of children can be so hard to agree on, that the parents may just decide to leave it up to the court and then a large portion of a San Diego divorce trial will focus on child custody. According to the judges, the toughest question to settle during a San Diego divorce is precisely whom to leave the children with. Usually, a San Diego divorce and the associated child custody battle will be settled in favor of the mother.

The ruling passed by the judge may not be the final word in a San Diego divorce case though. After the confrontation in court, the struggle of the San Diego divorce can continue unofficially and may even take on violent forms. Especially as regards child custody, things can get rough, as one of the parents may decide to by-pass the decision made during the San Diego divorce trial and kidnap the child from the custodian parent. Although this is not the norm, it can happen that emotionally unstable parents feel the decision of the judge to be so unjust that they have to take the issue into their own hands. The kidnapping is possible because the child will trust the non-custodial parent, so the little one may be taken away without much ado. If there is a need for a stronger confrontation, the threat of fire weapons may be used, which is possible in the case of a San Diego divorce given the extensive availability of fire guns in California.

When the situation gets aggravated to such an extent, it is usually only the divorce lawyer that can intervene. The attorney will first establish the legal framework for getting the child back to the custodial parent. In order to do this, the lawyer will go back to the judge of the San Diego divorce trial and ask for a restraining order against the non-custodial parent, thus emphasizing the danger that he/ she represents for the child. The lawyer will then make use of his professional connections with the police, detective agencies, and the district attorney’s office in order to trace the parent who took off with the child. These are resources that are not readily available for the custodial parent. Once the kidnapper parent has been located, the lawyer will try to establish a channel of communication with him, either by entering into dialogue with the kidnapper, or by putting the two parents into contact with each other. If the child is thus recuperated, the attorney has to secure that the custodial parent and child will be protected from the repetition of the deed. It is only after child custody has been thus settled that the San Diego divorce case can be considered closed.

San Diego divorce cases, just like all divorce cases around the United States, have become more numerous and more stressful for the parties involved. There seems to be a larger degree of alienation between the feelings and wishes of the family going through the separation and the results achieved in court. This happens because of the high degree of specialization of the divorce cases, which makes it impossible for the members of the couple to handle the separation and the associated settlements themselves. Because of this reason, all will be decided during a legal case, where -attorneys will argue for the two positions and an unknown judge will pass the final ruling. Not surprisingly, one of the two parties, if not both, will find the resolution of the case suboptimal, or even traumatic. This feeling of frustration, combined with the general high stress level associated with any divorce, may lead to violent acts, such as the kidnapping of children. In this situation again, it is the -lawyers and judges that will locate the culprit and assign the appropriate punishment. The two spouses turn from lovers into warring factions.

Title:

Advice From A Divorce Attorney?

Word Count:

420

Summary:

I believe that divorce is one of the biggest epidemics in our current society that isn't being recognized or treated as such. As a marriage and family therapist, of course divorce is something that I am passionate about because it is something that I am spending my life to fight against. I am not ignorant enough to believe that I will see all cases of divorce end during my lifetime, nor am I ignorant enough to believe that all divorce cases even should be prevented. I am, how...

Keywords:

divorce attorney

Article Body:

I believe that divorce is one of the biggest epidemics in our current society that isn't being recognized or treated as such. As a marriage and family therapist, of course divorce is something that I am passionate about because it is something that I am spending my life to fight against. I am not ignorant enough to believe that I will see all cases of divorce end during my lifetime, nor am I ignorant enough to believe that all divorce cases even should be prevented. I am, however, perhaps ignorant in my belief that it is crazy for people considering divorce to get advice from a divorce attorney.

Now, most of you are thinking I'm crazy. Who would go to a divorce attorney for advice about their failing marraige? Many people, unfortunately. I had no idea until I began working with marriages and families in crisis just how many individuals and even couples were seeking refuge and advice with their divorce attorney.

I was overwhelmed by my new knowledge for one primary reason. Have people considering getting a divorce forgotten that a divorce attorney is the very last person who will be concerned with them repairing a broken marriage? A divorce attorney makes a living helping married people get divorced while getting as many benefits from the divorce as possible. So why would any nearly-divorced person go to a divorce attorney in hopes of fixing their marraige? Beats me.

My advice to anyone struggling in their marriage is to make an appointment to visit a professional counselor or a marriage and family therapist. The core reason why I suggest this is because in general, counselors and therapists are people who deeply want to see marriages and families restored rather than torn apart. If I am looking for someone to help me fix my car, then it is far wiser to get help from an individual who actually believes that cars can be fixed, right? Of course. The same is true with marriage. Do not go for help to someone who believes that marriages should end easily and for any reason at all. Go instead to a professional who is trained in giving you wisdom about ways to make your relationship work.

A divorce attorney is great for people who are sure that divorce is the option they are choosing. If, however, you are still unsure of your options and if you are still hoping for healing in your marriage, then a divorce attorney is the last person you should see.

Title:

Preparation for Child Custody Court Ordered Mediation

Word Count:

454

Summary:

In Child Custody disputes Mediators help collect complete information about each parent and organize this information in a useful way. During mediation all history of both the parents is extremely useful. All aspects including childhood, past divorces, past history, parent’s history, parents’ martial status, siblings, relations with siblings, history of crime, domestic violence, etc. are also taken into consideration. You as a parent must be prepared to show yourself in the best possible light.

Keywords:

Child custody mediation, Child Custody

Article Body:

In cases where it is child custody is contested, family lawyers therapists and mediators can help get parents in this difficult situations, it is necessary that the plan developed is child centered so that their children’s interests are taken care of.

Most of the cases can be solved through a mediator, it might be a private one or someone sent by the court, if the couple is unable to reach a plan in the process of mediation next process that they could enter into is evaluation. Mediation takes place for 90 minutes in court-assigned cases, however, in order to have full discussion this time limit can be extended further. In case of private cases there is not time pressure.

Mediators help collect complete information about each parent and organize this information in a useful way. During mediation all history of both the parents is extremely useful. All aspects including childhood, past divorces, past history, parent’s history, parents’ martial status, siblings, relations with siblings, history of crime, domestic violence, etc. are also taken into consideration. You as a parent must be prepared to show yourself in the best possible light.

Mediators and evaluators look for red flags, which mean that there are certain details like dates etc. which do not match among both the clients. Mediators and evaluators then may challenge the dates and timelines. The more each can see with one another’s perspective, the more constructively proceedings will take place.

In order to be successful in presenting actual parenting plan, mediators and evaluators should try to make their clients understand that they should present themselves to be reasonable, articulate and flexible parents and that they should not in anyway disturb the court in anyway while proceedings are on.

At the time of evaluation, you should conduct a safety check on your clients. You have to inspect their homes and see whether things are generally in place. All the residents of the home should make themselves available for the interview and guests should leave within 10 minutes of arrival of the evaluator. Evaluator can ask for references of people you know, it would be better if you can furnish these immediately.

Plans that are not well thought off might turn out to be red flags, so preparing for evaluation in advance is necessary. There are special considerations offered by courts in cases where there is a history regarding domestic violence, abuse, etc.

Therefore, it is required that solid preparations are carried out for the purpose of mediation and evaluation, these can bring success. The client will not make any mistakes since the level of confidence would be higher. These tips will go a long way in maximizing chances of success in mediation and evaluation.